Black Friday - In Seasonal Song

Even the most ardent Americanophile will concede that not all US exports have been welcome. We only need think of school proms, rap music and political correctness. Not forgetting the worst of all, the artificial designation of a November date as a trigger for reckless expenditure, fuelled by retailers’ self serving clarion calls that seem to precede the date for weeks on end. I refer, of course, to Black Friday. It’s today, so we are informed (fancy that, I never suspected). At least it did not exist in 1973, when it might have inspired Brummie legend Roy Wood to write an entirely different festive song: -

When the salesman brings the sale

When he just wants more retail

He’s put a great big hole in your bank account today

If the shops fill you with dread

Adverts pounding through your head

Go home and lock your doors, you know the marketing whores are on their way

 

Well I wish we could abolish Black Friday

When we buy loads of rubbish, then we throw the lot away

Well I wish we could abolish Black Friday

It’s when the tills ring out for Christmas

 

When you’re skating on thin ice

At the all too tempting price

And the rosy ads help you on your reckless way -

Now the overdrafts appear

And they’ve frozen you with fear

But you’ll log on and shop and pretend you can wish them all away

 

Well I wish we could abolish Black Friday

When we spend too much money and regret it the next day

Well I wish we could abolish Black Friday

It’s when the tills ring out for Christmas

 

When the salesman brings the sale

When he just wants more retail

He’s put a great big hole in your bank account today

So if Amazon bring their sleigh

And you’ve spent your hard earned pay

You’ll kick yourself for the money that you’ve lost, ‘cause there’s sales on Christmas Day

 

Well I wish we could abolish Black Friday

When we’ve maxed out our credit cards in wanton disarray

Well I wish we could abolish Black Friday

It’s when the tills ring out for Christmas

 

Well I wish we could abolish Black Friday

When we know two days later it’s Send It Back Sunday

Well I wish we could abolish Black Friday

It’s when the tills ring out for Christmas

 

Why must those tills ring out for Christmas?

(The accompanying clip throws some light on the song’s creation, illustrated with Top of the Pops footage and some grim shots of 70s Birmingham.)