Friday, 18 September 2020

If You're Going To Shop In Tesco: Another Song for Covid-19

We now hear that Van Morrison, a musician perhaps not best known for his sunny disposition or sense of humour, has written a trilogy of songs in which he leaves his antipathy to lockdown and related anti-Covid measures completely beyond doubt. An entirely legitimate view, of course. However, while the embittered and the heartfelt plea types of protest song are long established, they are not necessarily the best medicine in these ludicrous times. Laughter, via parodies, might just have the edge. 

Fifty three years ago, the Summer of Love was memorably reflected in Scott McKenzie’s best selling single “San Francisco”. How might he have commemorated this year’s Summer of Fear? Maybe like this…

If you’re going to shop in Tesco

Be sure to wear a cover on your face

If you’re lacking a mask in Tesco

Wagging fingers will signal deep disgrace

For those who come to their local Tesco

Summertime will be an ordeal there

In the aisles of downtown Tesco

Frightened people who cower in despair

All across the nation

Chronic aggravation

Deep in commotion

Resigned capitulation

To asphyxiation

Shuffling motion

Devoid of emotion

Be it Sainsburys or be it Tesco

Petty rules will make you tear your hair

Asda, Waitrose, and Lidl and Tesco

Quality of life just can’t be purchased there

Will we ever return to our local Tesco

Muzzle free, and feeling happiness

Or will we abandon the likes of Tesco

Buy it all online, and save ourselves the stress

All across the nation

Resentment and frustration

Deep in commotion

No common sense explanation

For this abomination

Shuffling motion

Devoid of emotion...

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