What’s the
difference between Cabinet Ministers Philip Hammond and Amber Rudd, and American
gangsters from the Great Depression era Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow? Hmm.
Let’s think. One of those couples started off as a minor irritation before progressing
to become a confounded nuisance, rejoicing in their own arrogance as they
defied public opinion, and eventually met a gruesome sticky end. The other
couple were a pair of American gangsters…
Hang on,
that’s not quite right. Hammond and Rudd have not met a gruesome sticky end. Not
yet, anyway. But their determined efforts to defy the result of the Brexit
referendum might mean that their political careers are hanging by a thread. Hammond
has hinted this week at resignation if the UK leaves the EU on WTO terms (he
probably said “No Deal” but there is no need to encourage use of this
misleading phrase), and Rudd only has a 346 majority in her Hastings & Rye seat.
If it were
to be fair to suggest that Hammond and Rudd are fast becoming the Bonnie and
Clyde of British politics – and it may indeed be fair – the lyrics of Georgie
Fame’s 1967 No 1 single “The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde” are too tempting to
ignore when there is a parody in the air, especially when it looks like a good
fit for solo acoustic guitar: -
Hammond and
Rudd were shifty looking people
And I can
tell you people
They were Remainers’
sweethearts
Hammond and Rudd
began their evil scheming
While
Theresa May was dreaming
Down Westminster
way
They mocked
the vote
And spread
their gloom around town
Got clean
away in the Cabinet
And wouldn’t
let the heat die down
Hammond and
Rudd enhanced the consternation
And made the
graduation
Into the
wrecking business
“Brexit's no good”
Sour talking
Rudd would holler
As Hammond
played the scholar
Of sabotage
The scared
PM
So weak, she
left them alone
They dragged
her crying through a pool of mud
And laughed
about her feeble groans
Hammond and
Rudd got to be public enemy number one
Rudely
defying their own manifesto when Leave had won
They used to
laugh about Brexit
But deep
inside them they knew
That if they
ruined the exit
They’d hit
the ground together
Burning in
Hades and shamefully supping the devil’s brew
Acting upon
a tide of indignation
The forces
of the nation laid a deadly ambush
For Hammond
and Rudd – ‘twas Hammond’s deselection
And Rudd’s
robust rejection at the ballot box
Hammond and
Rudd
Remainers
close together
And now they’re
gone together
For good
