Philip Hammond and Amber Rudd: the Bonnie and Clyde of British politics?

What’s the difference between Cabinet Ministers Philip Hammond and Amber Rudd, and American gangsters from the Great Depression era Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow? Hmm. Let’s think. One of those couples started off as a minor irritation before progressing to become a confounded nuisance, rejoicing in their own arrogance as they defied public opinion, and eventually met a gruesome sticky end. The other couple were a pair of American gangsters…

Hang on, that’s not quite right. Hammond and Rudd have not met a gruesome sticky end. Not yet, anyway. But their determined efforts to defy the result of the Brexit referendum might mean that their political careers are hanging by a thread. Hammond has hinted this week at resignation if the UK leaves the EU on WTO terms (he probably said “No Deal” but there is no need to encourage use of this misleading phrase), and Rudd only has a 346 majority in her Hastings & Rye seat.

If it were to be fair to suggest that Hammond and Rudd are fast becoming the Bonnie and Clyde of British politics – and it may indeed be fair – the lyrics of Georgie Fame’s 1967 No 1 single “The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde” are too tempting to ignore when there is a parody in the air, especially when it looks like a good fit for solo acoustic guitar: -

Hammond and Rudd were shifty looking people

And I can tell you people

They were Remainers’ sweethearts

Hammond and Rudd began their evil scheming

While Theresa May was dreaming

Down Westminster way

They mocked the vote

And spread their gloom around town

Got clean away in the Cabinet

And wouldn’t let the heat die down

Hammond and Rudd enhanced the consternation

And made the graduation

Into the wrecking business

“Brexit's no good”

Sour talking Rudd would holler

As Hammond played the scholar

Of sabotage

The scared PM

So weak, she left them alone

They dragged her crying through a pool of mud

And laughed about her feeble groans

Hammond and Rudd got to be public enemy number one

Rudely defying their own manifesto when Leave had won

They used to laugh about Brexit

But deep inside them they knew

That if they ruined the exit

They’d hit the ground together

Burning in Hades and shamefully supping the devil’s brew

Acting upon a tide of indignation

The forces of the nation laid a deadly ambush

For Hammond and Rudd – ‘twas Hammond’s deselection

And Rudd’s robust rejection at the ballot box

Hammond and Rudd

Remainers close together

And now they’re gone together

For good