“Mighty EU, flexing muscles, trampling on democracy
Lording o’er us all from Brussels, bastion of bureaucracy
Yours are clouds of sinful madness, driving precious hope away
Giving such unending badness - regulate and make us pay!”
Well, that’s the first verse of a possible Brexit anthem. Three more to follow. And you might already have worked out the musical inspiration. Scroll down to the end for the rest now if you wish. But all good things come to those who wait. Let’s have a quick history lesson first.
The European Union’s official anthem is Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy”, adopted as such in 1972. But only the music. Why no lyrics? Because, as is confirmed on the EU’s official website, “In the universal language of music, this anthem expresses the European ideals of freedom, peace and solidarity.” Oh, what a relief. Just imagine having to write an appropriate set of lyrics that could in turn be rendered into meaningful and thematic rhyming couplets just as easily in Finnish as in Portuguese.
As far as the German and English speaking worlds are concerned, there are already lyrics available. If we go all the way back to 1785, we will find the work of Friedrich Schiller titled “An die Freude”, which begins ‘Freude, schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium‘. Moving onwards to 1907, the American author and clergyman Henry van Dyke was evidently so moved by a visit to the Berkshire Mountains in Massachusetts that he wrote what came to be described as one of the most joyous expressions of hymn lyrics in the English language. His first verse (the link gives the other three): -
“Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, God of glory, Lord of love;
Hearts unfold like flow'rs before Thee, opening to the Sun above,
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness, drive the dark of doubt away;
Giver of immortal gladness, fill us with the light of day!”
So how, we may ask, could those cheeky Eurocrats have had the brass neck to hijack such an uplifting composition, both in Beethoven’s music and van Dyke’s lyrics, and pass it off as the theme tune for their corrupt and ramshackle institution?
Let’s not get mad, though, let’s get even. We need to mark the occasion when those of us under the age of 60 finally heard that we would be given a chance to vote on UK membership of what was then the European Economic Community and what has now become the European Union. The Brexit campaign may be in need of an anthem, all the more so if it might now help unite the Leave factions against the common enemy. So why not take Ode to Joy and treat it to a good humoured and light hearted adaptation, as closely to van Dyke’s original as possible, for this very purpose?
“Mighty EU, flexing muscles, trampling on democracy
Lording o’er us all from Brussels, bastion of bureaucracy
Yours are clouds of sinful madness, driving precious hope away
Giving such unending badness - regulate and make us pay!
Lobbyists with joy surround thee, auditors reject thy books
Cash rich fonctionnaires around thee, brushing off our helpless looks
London, Dublin, Copenhagen, Athens desperate to be free
Let’s bring on this referendum, cast this deadweight corpse of thee!
Thou art taking and forsaking, ever cursing, ever cursed
Wellspring of fake global warming, open borders, it gets worse
Thou our Emperor, Jean Claude Juncker – not much choice, it might be Blair –
You just make us loathe each other, leaving us in dark despair!
Voters, join the rising chorus, smash that cursed ring of stars
Stop the EU reigning o’er us, bureaucrats and commissars
Ever singing, let’s march onward, free ourselves from Brussels strife
Time to lead the UK sunward – Brexit now for joyful life!”