In
its modern setting, the P-word (no, not policeman) is clearly equated by its
users with yob, oik, chav, lout and similar short and punchy terms for the user’s
perceived inferiors. Let’s not stray into the scope for adjectival embellishment,
which proved to be David Mellor’s undoing when he chose the wrong taxi driver
to pick on, and let’s instead take a step back to ancient Rome.
For
who stood above the plebeians in the Roman pecking order? The patricians did.
Going back to the very origins of Rome, the pleb class included any tribe without
advisers to the ultimate leader of the city state, whereas the patrician class had
such advisers. Shades of the political class of modern times, it would appear,
Or to be really cynical, the governing class in contrast with the governed
class.
But
all was not lost for the average plebeian. Despite the burden they faced of not
being permitted to know the laws by which they were governed – now it’s
beginning to sound like the EU, and the manner in which our political class do
their best to brush this painful truth under the carpet – they were able to
pursue upward mobility. The great military leader Gaius Marius was a pleb, as
indeed was the celebrated advocate Cicero. They could be landowners. They had
at their disposal the ultimate weapon of the ‘secessio plebis’, a staged withdrawal
from the city in the manner of a general strike, and in time the ‘tribunus
plebis’ (tribune of the plebs) role developed, whereby their appointed leader
could veto acts of the Roman state and could on rare occasions impose a blanket
veto over all government functions. Hmm. In modern times, the rallying call ‘Farage
for Tribunus Plebis’ might sound rather clunky, but then again…
One
further thought. There was a Roman class even lower than the plebeians, the
non-landowners described as ‘capite censi’ (tr: chosen by the head – that’s
where ‘headcount’ comes from – and both Cs are hard). Gaius Marius brought them
into prominence by allowing them to enlist into the army. So is there scope to
introduce a new insult from classical times into the English language? “Get out
of my way, you horrible little capite census” – note use of singular – might attract
blank looks at first but it could be away for the Mitchells and Mellors of this
world to portray themselves as even more superior to those on the receiving end
of their talking down. Maybe in due course we could just abbreviate it to ‘capcen’.
You saw it here first.
Anyone
looking for further modern day tales about conflict between patricians and
plebeians could always try either of my books Hatred Ridicule & Contempt
(especially as that also involves a libel trial) and Infernal Coalition – prologues above, purchase links on the side.
