Orangeberry Summer Splash - in Haikus

How would I go about summing up Hatred Ridicule & Contempt in a Haiku? Like this: -

Libel action trial
Lawyer partnership turmoil
Who will win and lose?

How tempting, then, to take this a step further for the Orangeberry Summer Splash and invite fellow authors to write their own. Here are the first six: -

Donna Brown, Double Take Tales: -

Three tales with a twist
And a glimmer of bright hope
All have a message

Darlene Jones, Embattled: -

Burqas and beaches
Mysteries and miracles
Two lives. Two lovers

Keri Nola, A Year On Your Path To Growth: -

A year of growing
Authentically each step
Empower yourself

Marie-Anne Mancio, Whorticulture: -

Antebellum life
Choose friend, lover, whore, or wife
Whose lie is biggest?

Gean Penny, Bobby Jay: -

Patches fill its cloth
Stories shared between those left
Lonely for Grandpa

And finally for now, Kim Dalferes, I Was In Love With A Short Man Once: -

Crazy Southern Irish gal
Grows up to become?
Heartfelt smiles and fun.

More to follow, no doubt!

Lulu Discount for Hatred Ridicule & Contempt

Not far behind my recent price reduction for the paperback version of Hatred Ridicule & Contempt in its own right, thanks to a formatting change, Lulu are offering a further discount up to and including this Friday for anyone visiting their site and using the code SILVERUK .

Interesting to note that they are referring to "Olympic savings of epic proportions" either in oblivion to the petty activities of the O-word censorship police, or have decided that they could not care less about them?

The general Lulu link is here - the specific link to Hatred Ridicule & Contempt is here and on the right. Keep a look out for the Orangeberry Summer Splash too.

Hatred Ridicule & Contempt: the Ford 99 Test

So what exactly, in the world of novel writing, is a Ford 99? The answer, a test for a new book devised by novelist Ford Madox Ford – read page 99 and let that be the guide to whether you wish to read more.

The Orangeberry Summer Splash has taken this a step further, inviting its author entrants to dissect page 99 of their books in pursuit of a positive answer to the question. Very ingenious. Here goes.

To have described Thursday 11^th March as simply One Of Those Days for solicitor Alex Harris would have been a woeful understatement.

With his newspaper clients’ libel trial only days away, he realises just how dirty a fight his opponents intend to contest, as they pull a last minute rabbit out of the hat in the form of printed apologies to past libel victims that Bill Holroyd, the editor, had been compelled to publish in days gone by. Apologies that are now to feature in the documents bundle that will be placed before the judge and jury, in the hope of poisoning their minds against the editor, regardless of the fact that he was then in charge of a downmarket tabloid, not the same newspaper that is now on trial.

Thinking on his feet, Alex finds a counter-measure to demonstrate that whenever Holroyd decided in his past editorial role to stand firm against a libel allegation and go to trial, he was never defeated. Little did Alex know that this would not be the last dirty trick…

But the clients’ problems and Alex’s fightback on their behalf almost pale into insignificance alongside a sudden escalation of his firm’s internal political struggle. Breaking into his working day, by way of direct response to his defiance of a recent personal affront, a decision from the Management Committee to spark off a formal process that will put his status and his livelihood on the line. And all because of what?

Just at the wrong moment, in comes Stewart Robbins, Alex’s head of department, for a private word, evidently knowing about the Management Committee’s intentions and looking to play the part of some kind of honest broker. If ever a man was in the wrong place at the wrong time…

Page 99 is where what had been a steady build up of tension in Alex’s working life becomes a virtual torrent. There is no turning back. From this point onwards, it is evident that neither the libel trial nor the partnership conflict stand any chance of striking a happy medium and reaching an outcome where everyone involved can make a concession or two, resolve the disputes and feel that they have achieved something. They will both move remorselessly towards an outcome where there can only be one winner. And one loser.

Orangeberry Summer Splash: Check This Out

As a participant, it's understandable - and indeed only right and proper - that I should provide some well deserved publicity for the Orangeberry Summer Splash.

In the words of Pandora Poikilos, who is putting all of the hard work into organising the promotion: -

"As Orangeberry Book Tours reaches its 100th book tour, I will be organising a special mini book tour marathon, Orangeberry Summer Splash from 1st August to 31st August. The goal is to get 100 authors and 100 book blogs to participate in this campaign that is set to raise awareness for all participating authors and books."

Great idea. Check it out here.

Air Passenger Duty: A Fair Tax On Flying?

Time for a break from writing about writing. One particularly iniquitous stealth tax in the UK is Air Passenger Duty, the levy on passengers flying from a UK airport. What was once an irritating fleabite has become a festering wound for already hard pressed travellers, riddled with anomalies that hit flights to Caribbean islands – and in turn their tourist revenue - harder than flights to the USA. And the pretence that it was a necessary weapon in the fight against climate change (what, when a jet still takes off on schedule regardless of whether it is nearly full or nearly empty?) has long given way to the admission that it is a revenue raising measure, pure and simple, alongside other so-called sin taxes.

So I was only too pleased to follow the suggestion from A Fair Tax On Flying, to complete their standard form email for despatch to my local MP by way of protest. In the space for additional comments, I mentioned the Caribbean anomaly, and the fact that if long haul flyers hopped over to Amsterdam, Paris or Frankfurt for the bulk of their onward journey, their very understandable personal saving on APD would cause major damage to the UK aviation industry. (The latter point is not surprisingly recognised by the Dutch, who charge no APD.)

I suppose that I should not have expected anything more than a standard form response to a standard form email, but this one from my local MP (whose name I will withhold) really took the biscuit: -

“Thank you for contacting me about Air Passenger Duty.

“The Government inherited the highest structural budget deficit of any major economy in the world and the highest deficit in our peacetime history. The UK is paying over £120 million every day on debt interest payments alone. APD makes an important contribution to reducing the nation’s deficit and this must be taken into account.

“Last year the Government launched a consultation on APD to improve the fairness and efficiency of the system. Ministers recognise the importance of the aviation industry which is why the Budget in 2011 announced APD would be frozen for 2011-2 and the rise would take place this April instead. I do of course recognise the impact this tax has on the cost of family holidays, especially at a time when household spending is being stretched.

“To ensure fairness, Ministers have closed a loophole so that from April 2013, business jet passengers will also have to pay this tax.

“The reduction in the deficit, combined with the low interest rates this Government has secured, means that the UK is saving £36 billion in debt interest payments compared to our predecessors.

“Thank you again for taking the time to contact me.”

In other words, the four paragraphs of any substance comprised (a) a plain admission that APD is a revenue raising measure, oblivious to the collateral damage it causes (b) a plea for credit for not doing wrong (via another increase) just yet (c) the citation of a loophole closure that has no impact on the burden of the average leisure traveller (d) a sweeping general plea for credit for deficit reduction. No recognition of the underlying iniquity of APD. And not a word of response to my specific issues.

I suppose I should at least be thankful that I was not reminded that we’re all in this together.

Robert Goddard's Harry Barnett: Quite A Character

It will hopefully not be too long before my second novel is published, a legal and political suspense titled Sackcloth, Ashes & Penance, when some of the main characters from Hatred, Ridicule & Contempt will feature once more.

I am reminded of how Robert Goddard, one of my all time favourite authors, made such a success of a lead character in two follow ups. When Harry Barnett – “a middle aged failure, leading a shabby existence in the shadow of a past disgrace” - first saw the light of day in Into The Blue, his eventual triumph over the rotten hand that fate appeared to have dealt him was masterful in his own right. Then came Out Of The Sun and his discovery of David, the son he never knew he had, and the battle against the conspiracy and cover up surrounding David’s purported suicide attempt. And in Never Go Back, just when Harry might have deserved an uneventful retirement in Canada, he finds himself persuaded into joining an RAF reunion in Scotland with a hidden agenda. Quite a major one. Overall, a highly enjoyable (if perhaps accidental) trilogy where it is entirely natural to appreciate Harry's underlying virtues.

So when my follow up novel emerges, will any of my own recurring characters be seen to have taken inspiration from Harry Barnett’s endearing ability to survive all of the predicaments that descend so undeservingly upon him? Perhaps indirectly. Let’s just say for now that it’s not always necessary or desirable to take things lying down, or choose a quiet life, or draw a line and move on.

What's the Difference between a Donkey and an Ass?

“One’s a trade union leader, the other’s a member of the cabinet”, according to the Two Ronnies’ Mastermind sketch where Charlie Smithers’ specialist subject is answering the question before last each time. A good answer, albeit one that would be lost on someone unfamiliar with British comedy of the seventies.

More accurate in the USA, of course, would be “one’s an animal, the other’s a part of the human anatomy”. And the fact that we say “arse” in the UK can give rise to many an amusing mental picture when hearing the transatlantic usage. Take the Nickelback song “Rockstar” and its lyric “I’m gonna dress my ass/In the latest fashion”. We could just imagine the drummer muttering “You spoil that donkey”. Or the comment of Capt Dan Hubbard of the Third Infantry Division just before the overthrow of Saddam: “We are going to exploit the situation, cross the river and barbecue his ass." Well, the troops probably would have been hungry by the time they reached the main square in Baghdad, but would they really have wanted a celebratory feast of spit roasted donkey?

Some more examples came to the fore in an excellent American legal thriller I have just finished. “His records have been carefully drafted to cover his own ass” – written on an equestrian blanket, perhaps? “X would get his ass chewed…probably worried that Y would kick his ass” – fear of animal cruelty, fortunately balanced with the kindness of “get your cute ass in there…more like I saved your ass.”

Which all goes to remind me of the passage in my follow up to Hatred Ridicule & Contempt, still a work in progress but hopefully to be published soon, when a central character reacts in succinct but derogatory fashion to what authorities often invoke to justify cover ups. Am I going to leave his exact comment as “Data protection my arse”? You bet your ass!