David Cooper Books

Zdravstvuite, Russian Visitors

2012-02-28T22:06:00.000Z

How interesting to note from Blogger stats that a number of site visits appear to have originated in Russia. Excuse lack of Cyrillic script, to say nothing of the fact that Hatred, Ridicule & Contempt is not yet available in Russian, but a warm welcome anyway.

It’s a real sign of the changing world. Who would have thought that a former sworn enemy of the West, and follower of a backward discredited political and economic system, would transform into an emerging market and treasure house of valuable resources in such a short space of time, thanks to Gorbachev, Yeltsin and (credit where credit’s due) Putin? It might once have been considered about as likely as German hard rockers The Scorpions securing their greatest worldwide hit with “Wind of Change”, a rock ballad all about their own experience of Russia after the Iron Curtain had rusted away. Or Russian billionaires buying English football clubs. Or heavyweight boxing being dominated by the Klitschko brothers from the Ukraine.

Almost as unlikely, all considered, as print books being challenged for market domination by electronic reading devices.

Frankie Ballard, Country Artist, Rock Artist: What's In A Label?

2012-02-22T21:31:00.001Z

Last June my wife and I went to the Grand Ole Opry show in Nashville, as the concierge at the Hermitage Hotel had recommended. Great evening. A variety of musical acts ranging from Wee Jimmy Dicken – still telling Viagra jokes and performing on stage at the age of 90 – to a new up and coming guitarist. A singer/songwriter by the name of Frankie Ballard.

He may only have had time to play a couple of songs, but even in that brief performance there was something that stood out. The confident swagger of a young man not remotely overawed by the venue? The refreshing change of upbeat guitar driven songs rather than talent show clones and thudding disco beats? Whatever the case, we left the show wondering whether it was too far fetched to think that we might have had our first experience of a new Bruce Springsteen. And eagerly awaiting his debut album.

It finally reached iTunes in October. It was well worth the wait. Only 8 songs, but shades of Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top, even Bon Jovi. Not forgetting Springsteen, of course. And this was a debut album. Talk about future promise.

But he was performing in Nashville, you may say, at the home of country music. Doesn’t that make him a country artist? Well, he is labelled that way in the US. And there is no denying the occasional country twang on the album, even if banjos, fiddles and cries of Yee-Ha are pretty much conspicuous only by their absence. But if you put him on stage at a UK event such as V-Festival, lining up alongside rock bands, no one would be any the wiser – and many would be all the happier for having heard him.

So what’s in a label? Perhaps just this. If Frankie Ballard is tagged as a country artist for the UK music buying and concert attending public, he may struggle for recognition. But a subtle change of label to rock could ensure that when guitar driven music comes back into favour in the UK, there is a ready made audience for him.

I am mindful of a parallel with the theme and subject matter of Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt and its central character Alex Harris. In the UK his proper professional label is solicitor, not lawyer or attorney. But the label might not be immediately familiar to US readers. Indeed, as I recall from seeing the notice “No Solicitors Allowed” on the door of a Las Vegas casino many years ago, the term can be quite properly used there to describe a hawker or a beggar. So my cover description refers to his “law firm” and avoids what could be a misleading label.

And in the meantime let’s hope for the first UK tour of the new US rock
artist Frankie Ballard.

Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt: The Plaintiff Is Cross-Examined

2012-02-17T21:15:00.000Z

Former star footballer turned charity organiser Jonjo Donnelly is in the witness box, undergoing cross-examination from Thomas Campbell QC on behalf of the Black Country Herald...

Once more Campbell let Donnelly’s uncomfortable silence answer the question before moving onto the details of the visit scheduled for the following day.

“So you only found out on the previous evening that the Suba-Mocanu Institute was in fact some form of isolation facility that could not receive visitors?”

“Yes, that's right.”

“What made you select this institute for a charity drop in the first place?” Campbell knew that he could not anticipate the answer to such a question, but was thinking well ahead in asking it. Donnelly paused for a little longer than usual.

“I'd asked for details of orphanages in need of aid supplies, within reasonable striking distance of Bucharest, so that I could draw up a shortlist. Er... The Romanian embassy in London gave me all the details.”

“Did it not occur to you to make sure that the intended recipients of your gifts were in a position to welcome their distributors in the normal way?”

“I assumed that if the embassy had given me the right information, everything would be in order. With the benefit of hindsight, I wouldn’t have been making a drop there.”

“You assumed again. You didn't make sure?”

Once more, only silence in reply. Behind counsels’ row, Holroyd leaned over in Alex's direction and made a whispered comment to the effect that he was not surprised that Donnelly had been reluctant to defend the mission’s organisation.

“So you decided, after hearing this news about Suba-Mocanu, that you would look after that delivery alone?”

“Yes, just me and my two personal assistants.”

“Was it not unusual, in the circumstances, to have made that journey without any of your drivers?” Campbell had thought a great deal about this aspect of the story in his preparation. While the underlying anomalies would provide scope for pointed questions upon the implications of finding this out, there was still something that did not add up about the entire account of that leg of the mission. However, he knew that there was no advantage in leading the judge and jury too far down the road of mere speculation.

“I thought about it. It was all on main roads, so I knew that I could keep the number of visitors to an absolute minimum without any real difficulty.”

“Could the Institute not have arranged to collect the supplies from the hotel, if they were that concerned about visitors?”

“Well, maybe they could, but they agreed to what I proposed.”

“And yet you did not tell the driver that you were going to go off with his lorry, in the small hours of the following morning?”

“We left him a note. By the time we found out about the problems with the Institute, it was too late to break the news.”

“Too late?” This even appeared to take Campbell by surprise for a moment, but he found a telling response. “You just told us that you had to call off a social evening for the group because of what you had found out. If that really was the case, surely you could have told the driver much earlier?”

Donnelly seemed to bite back the response that he had been about to make. Nervously, he flicked through the pages of his statement. From his vantage point, the judge seemed to be giving Donnelly a hard look. Campbell tried another prompt.

“Which way do you want it?”

After a period of silence more prolonged than any so far, Donnelly put the bundle of statements aside.

“I suppose I must have made a mistake.”

“A mistake. And what about the fact that the overland party were left at the hostel all morning, without any information as to what was going on?”

“I'm sure that I left a message explaining what would be happening that morning.”

“With whom did you leave the message?”

“Er... I can’t remember. As I’ve said, hindsight’s a wonderful thing, but we wouldn’t have arranged to go there if I’d known.”

Campbell took his point to have been adequately made and moved on...

So what was going on in Romania? And what made Donnelly take such offence at what was published in the newspaper? To find out, click here...

Van Halen, A Different Kind Of Truth - and the Salvation Army?

2012-02-14T08:31:00.000Z

The debates about a rock band's best singer are unending. We can think of Ozzy vs Dio, Gillan vs Coverdale, Gabriel vs Collins - and let's not forget David Lee Roth vs Sammy Hagar, as Van Halen produce their first studio release for 14 years. For my own part, given that I would just as readily listen to 5150 and OU812 (Hagar) as VH1 and 1984 (Roth), I'm content to sidestep the comparisons. Here and now, any hesitancy as to whether this reunion was just a ploy from another set of past their best 70s/80s rockers was soon dispelled. A Different Kind Of Truth is a really good album.

So why the title? Well, it triggered a long forgotten memory from ancient RE lessons. "Blood and Fire", the fifth song on the album, is the motto of the Salvation Army. Well, fancy that. What scope might this provide for EVH to play Onward Christian Soldiers as an introduction to the song in similar fashion to Eruption, by fingertapping eight notes to each single note of the hymn?

O Canada - Where Are Your Legal Thrillers?

2012-02-08T21:36:00.000Z

A thought struck me last weekend. If Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt is available via the Kindle Direct pages on Amazon UK, USA, Germany, France, Spain and Italy, what about Amazon Canada? A quick search on amazon.ca revealed no sign of Kindle Direct whatsoever, and a general search for explanations on the KDP forums produced nothing easily understandable. Well, it could be just as easy to use the USA site, but I would not be at all surprised if this was rather annoying to the average Canadian e-book reader.

It left me with another mystery to solve. Are there any Canadian writers of legal thrillers? Another search today, and I had unearthed the name of Robert Rotenberg. This looked all the more promising when I had found out that his books “The Guilty Plea” and “Old City Hall” were based in Toronto, a city that I have never visited but certainly intend to see one day. Any self respecting Rush fan of over 30 years’ standing would surely want to do so.

One quick flick through the opening chapter of The Guilty Plea (thanks to the link on A Bookworm’s World) and I was convinced. It’s now on my Kindle ready for the next holiday in 5 weeks’ time. And the question comprising the theme of my thread had been answered.

What better way, in conclusion, to link the e-publishing boom and the ever expanding information superhighway that made it all possible for e-book authors - and indeed bloggers - than to invoke a Neil Peart lyrical excerpt from Virtuality, from Rush's 1996 Test For Echo album: -

Net boy, net girl
Send your signal round the world
Let your fingers walk and talk
And set you free
Net boy, net girl
Send your impulse round the world
Put your message in a modem
And throw it in the Cyber Sea

Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt Now In Print: The Publishing Revolution

2012-02-02T10:51:00.000Z

Here is the link to my Lulu Books print version. I am left in near amazement at how quickly Lulu managed to produce and despatch the initial proof copy after I had finally been given the green light on their website for the compatible upload of my typescript and cover.

Thinking back to a similar media revolution, the triumph of the CD over the vinyl album, this was something of a bloodless coup at the time. The greater expense of the CD brought with it a more reliable and less vulnerable product. The only notable downside was the greater inconvenience in reading lyrics and sleeve notes from the much smaller CD insert. OK, the record collection also found itself neglected, save where the bullet was duly bitten and the favourites upgraded to CD, but the later emergence of DIY CD conversion software - such as the subtly named RIP Vinyl - helped revive them.

Now we are looking at music downloads from the likes of iTunes as a challenge in their own right to the CD. With a virtual cover for the iPod, of course, even if we have to go online to read lyrics. Another drawback to progress.

Which leads me back to the reading revolution. Whereas CDs rendered vinyl albums obsolete despite being a more expensive product, ebooks have the scope to do the same to print books less expensively. Is the traditional comforting feel of a print book ever going to disappear altogether in favour of a Kindle version? I expect it will, but probably over a longer period than it took for the CD to kill off the vinyl album.

It would be interesting to extend this debate into VHS videos versus DVD, or even coins and banknotes versus debit cards. For the moment, let's just recognise that choice remains. Especially so far as books are concerned.

Musical Eccentricities 2

2012-01-27T15:27:00.000Z

Time for another set of musical eccentricities, this time with a colour theme.

Rush – Red Barchetta A great rock song from Moving Pictures about the joy of freedom and one man’s defiance of overbearing government, having the temerity to drive a private car from “a better, vanished time” in the face of a total ban on doing so, even to the extent of engaging the forces of authority in a high speed chase. Now there’s a true NMFT who would definitely merit his place in Hatred, Ridicule & Contempt . The Rush “Time Machine” Tour from 2011 featured the whole of Moving Pictures and brought back many memories from previous tours when this song and its visual backdrop had been a highlight.

Doobie Brothers – Black Water Why choose this one rather than the more familiar Without Love or Listen To The Music? Well, partly because the song’s atmosphere of a Mississippi journey really came alive when visiting the Deep South for the first time last summer. And partly because of the rarity value, in rock music terms, of its harmonised acapella section “I’d like to hear some funky Dixieland/Pretty mama come and take me by the hand…” Ingenious.

Procol Harum: A Whiter Shade Of Pale I could refer to its unmistakeable Bach introduction on the Hammond organ, or its unfathomable lyrics. Or even to the recent legal dispute, many years since the song topped the charts. But here and now, remembering a light hearted radio quiz from 19 years ago where celebrities were invited to sing well known songs to different – indeed markedly different – tunes, I will refer to the fact that the late Willie Rushton achieved this for AWSOP to the tune of My Old Man’s A Dustman. No kidding. And it works just as well in reverse with the lyrics of MOMAD…

Blue Oyster Cult – Black Blade A touch of the Michael Moorcock influenced science fiction here – or might it have been Ray Bradbury’s The Scythe and its sinister message Who Wields Me, Wields The World? - as the bearer of a deadly weapon wonders out loud who’s in charge (“Keeps calling me its master/But I feel like its slave/Hauling me faster, faster to an early, early grave”) amid the background of a hard driving rock beat. No doubt the band could never have imagined, when the Cultosaurus Erectus album was released thirty years ago, the computer models that seem to enslave their writers and the population at large these days, just like the mythical Black Blade. Think of how and why governments react as they do to foot and mouth outbreaks, Icelandic volcanoes, scares about allegedly harmful man made global warming…

Joni Mitchell – Big Yellow Taxi Classic folk song, all about the loss of sources of pleasure in the face of progress comprising parking lots, tree museums, DDT and so on. Which here and now lends itself to a paradox parody, in the face of the wanton destruction of the English countryside by those monuments of extravagant uselessness – wind turbines. Let’s just put down the last verse of my own rewrite for now: -

“Late last night
I dreamt the Commons door went boom
And the men in white coats
Came and took away Chris Huhne
Don't it always seem to go
That they raise tax you ain’t got
‘Til it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a turbine plot…”

Sackcloth, Ashes and Penance

2012-01-20T13:28:00.001Z

No, that’s not the title to the follow up to Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt (then again, there’s an idea…). It’s simply a reflection of the dismay I felt when I reviewed my Kindle version and found that “rogue italics” had inexplicably crept into the text in a few places. Not enough to spoil anyone’s enjoyment of the book, I hope, but enough to annoy me for not picking it up before.

So by way of contrition on my part after correcting the error, for this weekend, I am making Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt available for a free download. Yes, that’s right, a free download. Just hit the Amazon link: Amazon UK, Amazon USA.

Another salutary lesson hit home when I realised that my use of an auto-correct function in relation to an item of computer periphery had also produced the word “diskomfort”, no doubt a description of the physical unease felt when overwhelmed by technology. Oh dear. At least it’s a happy reminder of that old urban myth of the newspaper subeditor who was led to understand that Princess Diana’s former lover James Hewitt never in fact achieved the rank of Major, inspiring him to set about the task of an electronic demotion. Which accidentally led, in the same edition, to the then Prime Minister being renamed John Captain.

"Watermelons" by James Delingpole: A Review

2012-01-10T21:27:00.000Z

“Watermelons” is not, of course, a book about fruit. It seeks to explain how the issue of anthropogenic global warming (AGW) has come to prominence in recent years, and whether in the author’s opinion – notably in view of some serious concern about emails and data that came to light via what has been described as Climategate – it is a sensible use of time and resources to fight the proclaimed harmful nature of AGW, rather than adapt to it or to dismiss it as an exaggerated scare.

One development not touched upon by the author, space no doubt being limited, was the Grainger v Nicholson UK employment tribunal case from 2009, where it was held that the claimant’s asserted belief that CO2 emissions must be cut to avoid catastrophic climate change was capable of amounting to a philosophical belief [my emphasis] protected from discriminatory treatment under the Employment Equality (Religion or Belief) Regulations 2003. Interestingly, this is at first sight inconsistent with the frequent assertion of AGW theory advocates that “the science is settled”, illustrated in this book with the example of one such advocate calling for the null hypothesis on AGW to be reversed, in other words to require “deniers” to prove that AGW does not exist. OK then, which one is AGW - belief or fact?

A genuinely open minded reader, looking to find out more about the other side of the AGW argument and prepared to accept the occasionally forceful nature in which the author presents his case, would do well from reading this book as well as Nigel Lawson’s “An Appeal To Reason”. Which explains why I’m giving it 5 out of 5.

So why “Watermelons”? Well, let’s just say that the author is making a point about the likely ulterior motives of some in the AGW lobby by drawing attention to the difference in colour between the fruit’s outside and its inside...

Veto Ale: Cheers, JD Wetherspoon and Tim Martin

2012-01-03T18:52:00.000Z

Today let’s salute a great NMFT in the form of Tim Martin, founder of the JD Wetherspoon pub chain, following his “Veto Ale” initiative which has seen an exclusive new beer introduced to the Wetherspoon outlets to commemorate David Cameron standing up to Merkozy and the rest of the EU bullies.

I first discovered the Wetherspoon chain in the late eighties on a weekend trip to London (OK then, a weekend pub crawl in London). At that time they were not that well known in the Midlands. But the formula discovered that night in the Neasden pub – decent real ale, spacious surroundings and no noise – was instantly appealing and made it plain that the formula ought to be rolled out on a nationwide basis. And so it was, with justified success for investors and pleasure for beer drinkers right up to the present day.

Tim Martin has certainly had the courage of his convictions in many ways. He founded the first Wetherspoon pub, as legend has it, because of the lack of scope for him to enjoy a quiet decent pint on a local night out, taking the issue firmly into his own hands. He named the chain after a former schoolmaster and pursued a policy of eccentric pub names often linked to the former use of the newly acquired premises. He has never sought to toady up to government but has regularly slated the anti-pub trade policies, both direct and indirect, of both parties. And he is an unashamed Eurosceptic. (There, I didn’t need to mention the mullet.)

So if my court battle in Hatred, Ridicule & Contempt had featured a pub company rather than a newspaper, I’d be in little doubt as to who the captain of industry would be based upon. In the meantime, here’s to a pint of Veto Ale before long.

Paradox Parodies

2012-01-02T11:49:00.001Z

I have always been an admirer, consistently with NMFT principles, of the art of song parodies. I can even cast my mind back to the work of the Barron Knights (anyone remember them?) in my pre-teens, and in modern times the Bob Rivers team and the occasional gem from Richard Littlejohn in the Mail have ensured that the interest is still fuelled.

When tempted to write my own in recent years, almost inevitably involving anonymous political satire, my main goal was to preserve as much of the original sound, flow and structure – and indeed lyrics - as possible, rather than simply treat the primary song as a loose template. In the days when Gordon Brown was Public Enemy No.1, the inspiration to turn “The Wanderer” into “The Squanderer” and “Lily The Pink” into “Gordie The Gink” certainly abided by those principles.

One accidental, but interesting, outcome of those two parodies was the reversal of the original song sentiments. Lily, the fictitious healer of all ills, became a political bull in a china shop, and Dion’s hero with the Midas touch in his own joybringing life became a villain with a Sadim touch (think about it) inflicting misery on all. But rather than republish those here now, let’s leave politics for a moment and write a new one. Having seen a TV competition where viewers were invited to guess a missing word from an upbeat, positive Katrina & The Waves song, and where one of the three alternatives was an exact opposite (how many viewers dialled their premium rate phone numbers to pick that one?), it was too tempting to let the song go by, especially when the original could be largely preserved: -

“I used to think maybe you loathed me, now baby I'm sure
And I just can't wait till the day when you walk out my door
Now every time I go for the mailbox, gotta hold myself down
Cause I just can't wait till you write me you're leavin' this town

Now I'm walking on eggshells (whoa oh)
I'm walking on eggshells (whoa oh)
I'm walking on eggshells (whoa oh)
It sure don't feel good

I used to think maybe you loathed me, now I know that it's true
And I don't wanna spend my whole life just a waitin' on you
Now I don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day (no no no)
I said baby I just want you out and I want you away
(Chorus)

OK then, back to the politics. The close of the uninspiring Ed Miliband’s first year as Leader of the Opposition reminds me of how, shortly after his election to the post, I took a well known song about lifelong fraternal love, affection and respect and twisted it into the exact opposite. It’s almost a tale of deeply held hatred, ridicule and contempt between siblings: -

“Two little boys had two little toys
A hammer, and a sickle too
Gaily they played each summer's day
Socialists through and through

One little chap then had a mishap
Off came his hammer's head
Wept for his tool - naive young fool
As his older brother said

"Did you think I would start you crying
With one swing of my sickle true
Don't you stammer, it's just a hammer
I'm much more sly than you

When we grow up we'll both be MPs
And we'll rise up above the noise
Just remember that you're the younger
Though we're just two little boys"

Long years passed, Brown quit at last
Burnham's hopes fade away
Abbott too loud
Balls mad and proud
Surely a brother's day

Up rang a shout, result's finally out
Out from the ranks so red
David's bid's crashed, all hopes are dashed
Then came the voice of Ed -

"Did you think I would leave you dying
When I can stick the knife in too
Cry your tears, bro, the unions picked me
Though the membership wanted you

You just took the result for granted
One banana skin's wrecked your poise
Never once thought that I'd remember
When we were two little boys.”

2011 Travels and Legal Thrillers

2011-12-22T17:00:00.000Z

Looking back over 2011, my trip of the year has to be the USA Deep South.

The original reason for taking the flydrive there, to head from Nashville to New Orleans via Memphis and sample US music history of all kinds - jazz, blues, Elvis, country & western - was well satisfied. Especially with the hidden bonuses such as Elvis' birthplace in Tupelo, Mississippi, a side trip just as worthy as Graceland.

But there was so much more to it. A wealth of US civil war history in places such as Franklin and Vicksburg. To say nothing of the classic period houses in Natchez and on the drive from Lafayette to New Orleans which made it worthwhile to have sat through the whole of Gone With The Wind (!) in anticipation. Not forgetting the lifestyle of the "Swamp People" in the Louisiana marshes, and the Al Capone trail and architectural history of Chicago on the way back.

Interestingly too, having been inspired to finalise Hatred, Ridicule & Contempt on returning to the UK after reading about the e-publishing boom and John Locke's success on the day before the outbound flight, there was something of a John Grisham trail about this journey too. Leaving aside the setting of Memphis for The Firm (with Mitch fleeing De Vasher's goons through the Peabody Hotel - good job he didn't tread on a duck) and New Orleans and the marshlands for The Pelican Brief, one small town side trip stood out. Just before Vicksburg, there was a signpost to Historic Canton. Where the town square and indeed many areas of the town generally were used for the filming of A Time To Kill.

Now, I'm sure that in the real world it's far more likely that if scenes for a legal thriller were to be shot in Birmingham, we'd be talking of Alabama and not the West Midlands. After all, Alabama is virtually John Grisham's backyard. But there's no harm in a touch of wishful thinking once in a while, especially not at this time of year.

The Litigators: new John Grisham legal thriller review

2011-12-20T14:05:00.000Z

I almost wondered if the undoubted master of the legal thriller genre had made a conscious decision, via The Litigators, to move into slapstick and parody when, quite early on in the book, I reached the scene where two US street lawyers and their prospective new associate heard the unmistakeable sound of a traffic accident and went charging out of their office to the crash scene. And joined a near pitched battle with other like minded souls from the local legal profession who were equally desperate to sign up the victims. (Perhaps this really happens…)

But it’s not all like that. The central plot – a battle against Big Pharma involving the keen new associate who has not long abandoned the world of corporate finance law in bizarre circumstances, and the reprobate partner who may have picked too big an ambulance to chase as he battles his personal demons – works very well. As long as you’re not hoping for the same murder and skulduggery episodes as appear throughout The Firm and other vintage Grisham, you’ll like this one. I certainly did, so it’s five stars from me.

Which only leaves me to ask this light hearted question. Pound for pound, or dollar for dollar, is The Litigators really four times better than Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt? Of course not. But I would say that, wouldn’t I?

Euro Crash? Bring It On

2011-12-15T14:38:00.000Z

Bruce Springsteen's version of "Bring 'Em Home" came up on the iPod a few days ago. Interesting to think that the original dates back to the Vietnam era and that the original composer - Pete Seeger, a definite NMFT by all accounts - still had the ingenuity to make it clear in the lyrics that he was no pacifist and that he would be on the front line if ever the USA was invaded.

The sentiment of the song and its title, of course, is a perfect illustration of how the political classes are so often out of touch with reason and common sense. Notably shown here and now by UK orthodoxy on the Euro, where official policy - regardless of the praise heaped upon David Cameron simply for refraining from doing wrong at the recent EU summit - is that the stricken single currency must be kept alive at all cost. Which leads me to my own tribute to Seeger and Springsteen: -

If the Euro's doomed to crash
Bring it on, bring it on
Let's waste no more bailout cash
Bring it on, bring it on

It'll make Merkozy mad, we know
Bring it on, bring it on
They treat the British as their foe
Bring it on, bring it on

They wanna test their grand theories
Bring it on, bring it on
With the wealth of you and me
Bring it on, bring it on

So let's stop blighting British lives
Bring it on, bring it on
For the gleam in Brussels' eyes
Bring it on, bring it on

The men will cheer, the boys will shout
Bring it on, bring it on
The rally call - it's Better Off Out
Bring it on, bring it on

We will lift their voice and sound
Bring it on, bring it on
When that star ring hits the ground
Bring it on, bring it on

We'll shrug off the short term pain
Bring it on, bring it on
For the greater long term gain
Bring it on, bring it on

Westminster bells will ring with glee
Bring it on, bring it on
From the EU - gladly free
Bring it on, bring it on.

The Smoking Gun by Nigel Hastilow

2011-12-11T21:48:00.000Z

A couple of years ago I had some passing involvement in and first hand knowledge of a selection process for a safe Tory seat where the vacancy unexpectedly arose barely six months before the last General Election. Indeed I wrote about it on Conservative Home. Two thoughts that ran through my mind at various stages were "you couldn't make this up" and "if only I'd had a chance to go behind the scenes".

Someone else wrote about this process too. He was an approved Prospective Parliamentary Candidate whom the locals knew and wanted to shortlist. The hierarchy evidently did not concur with the locals' wishes. The enforced outcome was a contest between six individuals whom none of the locals would have known from Adam (or Eve) otherwise.

I therefore had little doubt that the PPC's new political satire The Smoking Gun - for it was indeed Nigel Hastilow whom those locals wished to shortlist - was going to be a thoroughly worthy read, given its central plot of an unexpected by-election and the lengths to which the party machine would go to ensure that their preferred candidate won through. And I was not disappointed. The book is excellent. Let's just invoke two further reasons from the plot.

The first, the suggestion that a notionally right of centre government - you know, the kind who profess themselves to favour low tax and personal freedom when seeking votes - would ban a previously legal activity (smoking), drastically raise taxation on another (flying) to compensate for the lost revenue, and then propose a further shock tax on another (sorry, no spoilers) for reasons not entirely unconnected with the by-election. We can only hope that today's satire is not tomorrow's reality.

The second, the NMFT principles of the central character, Acton Trussell MP, when assessing the browbeating, bullying and betrayal that evidently left him with no alternative other than to resign his seat. Does he take it lying down? You must, of course, read the book to find out. But let's just say that he wouldn't have been out of place as a character in Hatred, Ridicule & Contempt.

The Smoking Gun. 5 out of 5 from me.

Pigs, Dogs and Sheep

2011-12-09T15:06:00.000Z

John Redwood, an eminent NMFT, has coined the acronym DOGS - democratic overspending government sovereigns - to describe another regrettable feature of how we are governed today, by political classes who have traditionally believed that borrowing will always cover the gap between revenue and expenditure. Or, may I suggest, will cover that gap long enough to see their time out.

Thus we see the second element of a potential common thread, the first being the PIGS as comprise the overspending and effectively bankrupt governments of Portugal, Italy Greece and Spain.

Now, for the third element, let us look to "Animals" by Pink Floyd, noting in passing that the lyrics of "Dogs" are remarkably cogent: "Then after a while/You can work on points for style/Like a club tie, a firm handshake/A certain look in the eye and an easy smile/You've got to be trusted/By the people that you lie to/So that when they turn their back on you/You'll get the chance to put the knife in..."

Which leads us to the Subservient Helpless European Electorate Populations - the SHEEP, who are roundly ignored by the political classes whose lifestyles they support and subsidise. But looking at the Eurozone crisis, we may well ask: for how much longer? And isn't there a triumphant passage in "Animals" where the sheep finally rise up, fall on their oppressors' necks with a scream, and celebrate the overthrow of the dogs? Food for thought...

Musical Eccentricities 1

2011-11-30T18:31:00.000Z

OK, as anticipated in my NMFT tab, let’s start. I aim to pick songs with particularly special (however unusual) memories, or songs that would not necessarily be the first the come to mind from established artists’ repertoires, or songs that suit the NMFT theme in other ways. Or possibly with elements of all three. Here goes.

Eric Clapton – Wonderful Tonight. The first song played at our wedding reception. Need I say more? Layla would have made quite a spectacle for the guests, but then again perhaps not.

Bruce Springsteen – My City Of Ruins. From what was widely described as the classic post 9/11 album, we find a gospel inspired rallying call chorus of “Come On, Rise Up”. Even if the song might have actually been a tribute to the blighted Asbury Park, NJ, it could so easily become an anthem for EU member state democracies as the insane policies of the Eurocrats take us to breaking point. We can but dream!

Elton John – Porch Swing In Tupelo. What on earth? All those classic instantly memorable hits from a musical legend, and you pick an obscure album track from a recent release? Yes, with good reason. Just take the second verse: “His Mama must have loved him/That truck drivin' boy/With the grease monkey look and the rock and roll voice/Well I was just thinkin' about him/'Cause I guess he sat here/Singing all praise to God through poverty's tears.” Then add a first ever trip to the Deep South of the USA, and a side trip to an obscure small town in Mississippi, to a place just as symbolic in musical history as the connected city in Tennessee not long left behind. The birthplace and childhood home of the rock and roll icon who later put Graceland on the map. Yes, it is Elton’s tribute to Elvis. Masterful.

America – Ventura Highway. Bringing back memories of another road trip, this time in California and the coastal highway drive after a visit to Ozzy Osbourne’s house in Beverley Hills (let’s not mention the wig, the cross and the round purple tinted sunglasses). Rather a lot of traffic on that northbound stretch of the freeway. Enough to make me wonder if the chorus had originally run: “Ventura Highway/In the sunshine/Where the queues are longer/The language stronger than moonshine…”

Jethro Tull – Too Old To Rock ‘N’ Roll, Too Young To Die. Let’s defer, symbolically in the context of Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt, to Ian Anderson’s inimitable introduction to the song on “Live Bursting Out”: “This is a song which got us into some small degree of trouble back home in Blighty, where the music critics decided that it was a song of an autobiographical nature. Indeed, that I was singing about myself! Haha. Silly sods. Of course not, I was singing about some other [bleep]! It’s called Too Old to Rock ‘N’ Roll, Too Young To Die.” What a showman. Another of rock/folk’s great survivors.

Forget Moves Like Jagger, why not Moves Like Richards?

2011-11-27T09:12:00.000Z

How fair is it, then, that the other half of one of rock music’s most successful songwriting and live performance partnership is never going to have a No 1 song written about him? For Keith Richards, is it the lack of a distinctive surname enabling immediate identification, or might it be the fact that he has never set out to be a technical virtuoso guitarist?

Let’s step back into the sixties. Legend has it that the Rolling Stones were the London bad boys compared to the goody-goody moptop image of the early Beatles. And yet as time went by, and the Stones rolled on after the Beatles had taken the long and winding road to breakup, Mick Jagger developed into something of an establishment figure, his knighthood being the icing on the cake alongside his love of cricket and his fitness fanaticism.

When considering Keith Richards, on the other hand, it might be most unfair for this ultra maverick to spark off thoughts of copious ingestion of mind altering substances, or accidental falls from coconut palms, rather than for the riffs and solos on Satisfaction, Jumpin’ Jack Flash and Start Me Up. Or, indeed, thoughts of how his most notable moves would probably only comprise the deft extraction of the burning fag from the top of his guitar neck when a suitable break in a stage show permitted.

But that’s life. And would this great survivor of the modern rock era care? Hardly.

The Nonconformity Of Chris Evans

2011-11-24T08:21:00.000Z

Listening to the Breakfast Show in the car this morning. As a song finishes, the DJ comments “The Germans are at it again”, then leaves the point to linger before an announcement and the next song, which by some bizarre coincidence is today’s Big Screen Belter – Liza Minnelli and “Cabaret”.

When the last echo of “Come To The Cabaret” fades away, Chris Evans – for it is he – picks up the thread and mentions to his co-presenter that Germany and France are due to have another meeting today “about us”, thinking out loud that it will be all about “forcing us to join up”, and moves quickly to the next song via what sounded to be a passing gloat about how no one had been interested in the bonds that the Germans had just put up for sale.

More power to your elbow, we may all have thought. But what makes him such a nonconformist in all of this? Simple, really. If there’s one national institution that has been slavishly, shamelessly and indeed institutionally Europhile for longer than we would all care to remember, it’s the BBC. And here was one of its most high profile presenters very obviously declining to toe the line.

If I had had any need for a DJ character in Hatred, Ridicule & Contempt, how tempting it would have been to choose Chris Evans as a role model.

Sycophant: A Joyful Verbal Memory

2011-11-22T14:35:00.001Z

Picture the scene – a small town market, where dealers are trying (as they would have it) to make a reasonably honest living, only to be plagued by a snooper from the council, professing to be on the hunt for contraband but probably hell bent on a mission to make their lives a misery. Along comes a trader from a far flung outpost, offering unique items to one of the locals but only in return for something equally rare and special. The quick thinking local comes up with an idea – what could be more rare and special than a council snooper? Amid scenes of high farce, the outraged snooper is seized, packed in straw and carried off home by the outside trader, and everyone goes off for a celebration.

No, it’s not a new Peter Kay spoof or Ricky Gervais satire. It’s a subplot from “The Acharnians”, a play by the Greek comedian Aristophanes written in 425 BC, the winner of first prize at the Lenaia festival. Well, fancy that.

So what sparked off memories of ancient Greek comedies? The Eurozone farce? No, that’s another piece of Aristophanes, namely Nephelococcygia (or Cloud Cuckoo Land, in plain English). The explanation lies in the Ancient Greek term for the snooper, or informer, in the original – namely, “sucophantes”, the singular noun that gave us our modern day term “sycophant”, which has transformed from its original derivation to mean an ingratiating creep, a boot licker, a servile flatterer.

So when the editing round for Hatred, Ridicule & Contempt led my wife to suggest that the description “all singing, all dancing” in a late section could effectively be completed with the word “sycophants”, I was only too pleased to concur. Not only for the classical memories, but also because, in marked contrast with the free thinkers and mavericks, it neatly embraced both the ancient and modern meanings. How? That would be telling…

Rhydian Roberts: Different Stages

2011-11-18T23:28:00.000Z

There’s no reason to be ashamed of liking The X Factor. It’s only a game show, nothing serious, just entertainment. Forget the stage managed rows and the occasional episode of unutterable ghastliness, and there might just be a class act worthy of attention. And on this show there is a world of difference between a good maverick and a bad one.

OK, let’s think back to 2007. To a contestant whose choice of an operatic audition song led Simon Cowell to ask out loud what the programme could do with him, if it was Abba week and he had been asked to perform Dancing Queen – a challenge that he promptly and triumphantly threw back in the panel’s faces. Who progressed to the live final, despite hardly fitting the conventional image of a modern singer. And who enjoyed subsequent success of which his victorious opponent – who was it, now? – could have only dreamed.

And yet when my wife and I saw him in We Will Rock You, Rhydian Roberts was content in a lesser role that barely called for frontline solo singing. He just blended into the show without seeking to outshine his fellow performers. Proving that there is far more to his repertoire than the conventional pattern of albums and tours that he could have chosen to follow instead. It’s unlikely to be long before he secures top billing.

So it may be unwise to bet against this particular nonconformist still being prominent in the world of entertainment long after many of his fellow contestants have reluctantly resumed their day jobs. Just as unwise as betting against e-publishing, today’s unorthodox route, eventually coming out on top in its contest with the idea of having to make a debut in print.

Literary Inspiration: Not Quite As Expected?

2011-11-14T09:02:00.000Z

As a writer of a legal thriller, which author would I most proclaim to be an inspiration?

It might be thought that one man stands out head and shoulders above all others when it comes to this genre. The one and only John Grisham, who has recently made his usual impact with his latest work “The Litigators”.

I first discovered John Grisham’s work nearly 20 years ago. “The Firm” nicely took care of a flight to the west coast of the USA. Had Mitch McDeere not decided on the path of virtue – or, arguably, a dangerous venture of playing the Bendini firm at their own game – we could just have pictured the scene when the senior partner, with De Vasher standing at the boardroom door just in case, breaks the news to Mitch that the firm’s best client is the Chicago Mafia and that, armed with this news, he can choose to leave the firm either very rich or very dead. A thoroughly entertaining read in any event.

But my choice would in fact go to an English author of mysteries, often in historical settings, where his clever plot twists are far from predictable. His readership will be able to start one of his works in the clear knowledge that they will rarely or never guess the ending until they have reached it, often identifying and sympathising with a downtrodden central character - such as his trilogy star Harry Barnett - in the process. Twenty two books published so far, and evidently more to come.

Thank you for the writing, Robert Goddard.

Conservative Home v The Daily Telegraph

2011-11-10T22:31:00.000Z

I was somewhat surprised to set eyes on a Tory Diary link on Conservative Home - a paragon of online free thinking - on 19 October that bore the title "Tim Montgomerie: Why the Telegraph is 'sh*tbagging' me". An eye catching turn of phrase, indeed. The conclusion, drawn in the face of a number of rather spiteful Mandrake comments, was that this might be revenge for a tweeted criticism over an exaggerated Liam Fox article, or for suggesting Paul Dacre of the Mail was the most influential centre right journalist in Britain.

The comment thread touched upon some possible further explanations. But they may have missed quite a fundamental one. In days gone by, when the dead tree press was king, anyone asked where the best place was to find news about the Conservative Party would immediately reply: "The Daily Telegraph". Indeed some described the DT as the party's in-house magazine.

If the same question is asked today, however, the immediate response is far more likely to be: "Conservative Home". And of course ConHome would never in a thousand years want to be described as the party's in-house magazine, but that makes its daily content all the more appealing.

From my own perspective, having just e-published Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt, and being mindful of how Amazon are reporting on the growing success of Kindle books in comparison with their traditional paper rivals, I sense that there might just be one or two parallels with the battle for the Conservative news audience. And I sense it is one that ConHome is winning hands down.

Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt: Published Today

2011-11-04T09:15:00.000Z

I am pleased to be able to announce that Hatred, Ridicule and Contempt has today gone live on Amazon's Kindle Direct sites. For a preview, see the Prologue page above.

I would like to thank three people for their help and inspiration. First and foremost, my wife Nicola for her invaluable assistance in editing and suggesting numerous textual improvements. Had it not also been for the serendipity factor of our labrador Tara accidentally hurting Nicola's eye and leaving her in need of rest and relaxation, this whole project might have drifted.

Secondly, my cover designer Anthony Puttee of Book Cover Cafe for a great job. It's astonishing how the internet can shrink the world of commerce - the distance between the UK and Australia was barely relevant here.

Finally, the US author John Locke - not the Lost character, however much of an individualist he was too - for his ground breaking guide to e-publishing.

More in due course. In the meantime, please read and enjoy.